泡沫之夏 - Summer’s Desire (the novel) - Volume 3.1

Chapter 1

The doors to the hospital burst open as Xia Mo rushes through, nearly tripping over her flowing dress in her haste to get to Xiao Cheng! Ou Chen steadies her with a gentle hand, although she seems uncomprehending of anything else except getting to Xiao Cheng as she pushes his hand away. A tear-stained Zhen En looks up when she hears the scramble of footsteps coming towards her and calls out Xia Mo’s name. However, she pauses in concern when she sees Xia Mo, pale-faced and her body consumed with shakes. What has happened to Xia Mo? This isn’t her… the Xia Mo she knows is always so composed and collected, just like a steady tree. If Xia Mo collapses too, what will everyone do?

“Don’t panic; how is Yin Cheng doing?”

Zhen En cannot contain her shock; it is Ou Chen. What is he doing here?

“Xiao Cheng… Xiao Cheng is okay now… Xia Mo, you don’t have to worry; the doctors say he’s doing fine now… It was just me freaking out, Xia Mo… I’m sorry…”

Zhen En’s words don’t seem to get through to Xia Mo at first though, who continues to numbly stand there. Ou Chen turns her around to face him, worry and pain in his voice. “Did you hear? It’s okay; Yin Cheng is okay!”

“He’s… okay?”
“Don’t cry…”

Ou Chen’s voice seems to slowly wake Xia Mo from her stupor, and her original self seems to return. Turning back to Zhen En, Xia Mo calmly asks if Xiao Cheng is awake yet, to which Zhen En responds in the negative. However, she cannot stop apologizing for worrying Xia Mo earlier and assuring that Xiao Cheng is in no immediate danger.

*******

Xia Mo stands guard over Xiao Cheng in his room, who looks like a sleeping prince in bed. His sallow appearance has not improved and as she gently lays a hand against his shoulder, Xia Mo feels all her energy suddenly leaving her. Someone gently supports her and Xia Mo looks over to see a concerned nurse helping her stand, asking if she is all right. When Xia Mo assures the nurse that she will be okay, she slowly lowers herself to sit next to Xiao Cheng while Zhen En hovers in the corner. Zhen En is consumed by a feeling of helplessness and stupidity; she wishes she could say something reassuring but the only thing it seems she can do right now is to stay with Xia Mo and Xiao Cheng.

Watching the peaceful Xiao Cheng lying there and the blank Xia Mo sitting next to him, Zhen En is seized with pain and a tinge of bitterness. It is as if the world only belong to this pair of siblings and she is forever fated to be an outsider. However, she catches sight of Ou Chen through the glass window of the door, patiently waiting outside in the hallway. She had thought that Ou Chen would follow Xia Mo into the room but he had suddenly stopped mid-halt, allowing the door to slowly close in front of him.

The distance separating them could just be a pane of glass. Or it could be a much greater and farther distance.

The always great and superior young master Ou Chen suddenly seems very lonely and isolated in Zhen En’s mind. His eyes may be cold as usual but as he stands there gazing at Xia Mo with the pane of glass between them, he watches her as if she is the last light of hope in his life – a light of hope that if taken away will be the very death of him.

Xia Mo holds Xiao Cheng’s hand lightly for fear of waking him. She remembers the day he was born; she was only four years old but she still clearly remembers what an adorable sight he was, lying next to their mom. She had reached out curiously to poke him in the face and he had actually smiled in glee at her. Because Mom had always been busy working, she had always been by herself – but now she had Xiao Cheng. She fed him milk everyday, changed his diapers, rocked him to sleep, sang him songs and pushed his baby stroller outside so that he could get some sun.

Even Xiao Cheng’s first words had been “sister”.

But… but she didn’t take care of Xiao Cheng… but she didn’t know that he had been in the pouring rain for a whole night four years ago and then had to be taken to the hospital… but her blood type doesn’t match Xiao Cheng’s… but her kidney cannot be given to him…

*******

Her cell phone is turned off… he can’t find her… he can’t find her in the pouring rain…

Since Luo Xi had run out of the party after her, it is as if she has disappeared completely in the night. Where could she have gone? What has happened to her? Why had she run out of the party like that, her face so completely ashen… Something must have happened to her!

The instant she had run out of the party with that expression on her face, it was like she was permanently leaving his life forever. Terrified and devastated at this possibility, he could no longer bring himself to care about whatever was going on with her and Ou Chen – he had to find her, he had to immediately find her!

But… where did she go…

Her home was completely darkened, as if no one has lived there for a long time. He had relentless kept ringing her doorbell anyway, hoping against hope that she would open the door for him. He won’t suspect her again. Even if she is somehow involved with Ou Chen, he won’t ever suspect her again!

Where did she go…

Luo Xi is filled with fear and trepidation. If he cannot find her now, then he will never be able to find her…

He suddenly remembers what she once said… Xiao Cheng is sick and in the hospital…

Ripping out his cell phone, he begins calling every single hospital…

*******

After some time finally passes, Xiao Cheng slowly wakens. Zhen En excitedly calls his name and Xia Mo slowly realizes that his hand had slightly shifted while being cradled in her own.

“Sister… I’ve worried you again…”
“Of course not; you were just a bit tired, so you fell asleep, that’s all. I think you’ve been spending too much time drawing though so you need to remember to rest, okay?”
“Okay… Sister, your dress is really pretty… About the party… did you have fun…?”
“Yeah, I had fun. A lot of friends were there and it was decorated beautifully, just like a fairy tale…” Xia Mo’s soothing voice gently lulls Xiao Cheng to sleep. When she moves away from his bedside, her movements are stiff and controlled, as if she is shouldering a heavy load on her shoulders. The smile has completely left her expression now, and it is as if she has become a different person now that Xiao Cheng is fast asleep.

Walking out of the room and yet seeing nothing, her footsteps bring her closer, step by step, to that person. Until she faces Ou Chen and lift her head to gaze into his fathomless, black eyes as deep as the ocean.

Luo Xi races up the stairs, having just acquired Xiao Cheng’s room number from the nurses. Running madly through the hallways to the room, Luo Xi can only silently repeat to himself like a mantra – she must be there! She must be there!

“I agree… as long as you give your kidney to Xiao Cheng… then… let’s get married…”

Zhen En cannot believe her ears as she stands around the corner; what is she hearing?! Xiao Cheng needs a kidney? And Ou Chen is using that to force Xia Mo to marry him? Has the world gone crazy?!

Ou Chen is taken aback as he stares back at Xia Mo. He had thought that he had lost. Actually, the moment he had witnessed her so defeated and ashen, he had already admitted his lost; he does not want to be the one who torments her even if this is his one way of being with her. And so he had planned on telling her that he was retracting his condition — but now she has agreed…

However, her pain is so transparent that Ou Chen feels absolutely no joy at her answer. Seeing the emptiness in her eyes also creates a hole in his own heart… But even if it is an eternal pit of darkness, even if there will never be any light again, to forsake this one chance and to thus lose her forever – how will he be able to continue living…

And so Ou Chen reaches out and gently enfolds Xia Mo in a hug, bringing her in close to his own body…

…As Luo Xi stands watching at the end of the hallway, rain dripping steadily from him onto the ground. He watches Ou Chen holding Xia Mo and can only stand there completely numbed. His heart slowly freezing beat by beat as he watches her being held so closely… And he slowly turns away.

“Okay, let’s get married.”

*******

That night, Luo Xi runs a high fever. All the windows have been opened, allowing the frigid wind to blow into the place. Luo Xi lies, shivering on his bed, still wearing his rain-drenched clothes.

Actually, he hates Mommy… Even if Mommy regrets and comes back to find him, he still wouldn’t forgive her… he’s never going to love her again because he hates her…

But Mommy never came back…

So she… she won’t come back either, will she…

The stronger the love the stronger the fear… And so when he had been afraid that she was going to leave him first, per his nature he pushed her away first. He cannot bear to be forsaken again and so he had turned her away first… But, if she had just given some small sign, he would come back! He clearly understands that when it comes to her, he cannot resist…

But he forgot… that no one would ever want him to stay…

“Then… let’s get married…”

She has finally… really left him now…

The next day, Luo Xi was scheduled to appear at a shoot but never showed up. Out of concern, Jie Ni went to his place and found a feverish Luo Xi still shivering and shaking. The doctor of the apartment complex said that the fever is a result of being out in the cold too long; if it doesn’t break soon, then Luo Xi needs to be taken to the hospital.

Luo Xi runs a fever for two days and two nights. Although Jie Ni is never able to quite understand what he says in those fever-induced hazes, she can clearly hear the name he hoarsely cries out repeatedly, leading her to suspect that something must have happened between him and Xia Mo. Jie Ni tries to call Xia Mo during this time but her cell phone is always turned off.

Probably hearing the news from the studio company, Shen Qiang sits with Luo Xi day in and night out, even through the moments in which Luo Xi pleads repeatedly for Xia Mo. The sadness on Shen Qiang’s face becomes so apparent that even Jie Ni feels her own heart breaking with Shen Qiang’s.

Slowly, Luo Xi’s fever breaks. Jie Ni is still racking her brain for a way to get in touch with Xia Mo, who most likely is not even aware that Luo Xi has been sick. However, she sees that day’s newspaper bearing the headlines and can only gape open-mouthed at them –

LUO XI’S GIRLFRIEND YIN XIA MO ABOUT TO MARRY INTO THE WEALTHY!

YIN XIA MO AND YOUNG MASTER OU CHEN’S MARRIAGE DATE SETTLED!

*******

Media is buzzing with the news of Yin Xia Mo’s impending marriage to the wealthy heir of Ou Hua Corporations! What kind of a woman is this Yin Xia Mo that she can not only make Entertainment King Luo Xi fall for her but also the typically shielded and private young master Ou Chen??

Reporters have been clamoring to get an interview from Luo Xi but the young star has remained secluded since the news broke out; rumor has it that Luo Xi fell ill due to receiving the shocking news but his studio company has refuted such claims, and said that filming for the new series has simply been too consuming. Due to the hectic schedule, Luo Xi has had to cancel some originally scheduled shoots.

Luo Xi is still weakened by his fever but has thrown himself completely into filming. Jie Ni is explaining the upcoming week’s schedule to him, adding that he has received another invitation to a public appearing. Luo Xi flippantly and quickly agrees to the invite even though Jie Ni advises him against adding another commitment to his already full plate. Their conversation is eventually brought to a halt though when Jie Ni spies more newspapers with the same headlines of the past few weeks.

In the past, Luo Xi had declined all public appearings that were not important just to have time during the night to spend with Xia Mo. However, now he accepts anything that is offered and his schedule is completely filled with no time to rest and even no time for himself. Even when Shen Qiang calls repeatedly for the tenth time, he always has Jie Ni answer for him.

Hesitatingly, Jie Ni asks Luo Xi if perhaps he wishes to find Xia Mo…

“Find her? So that I can congratulate her?”
“No! I just think… that there must be some kind of misunderstanding… perhaps the gossip about you and Shen Qiang caused her to misunderstand the situation… or Xia Mo has some reason… perhaps… it can still be fixed…”
“What if I saw it with my own eyes?”
“Even if you saw it with your own eyes, there’s still a possibility of it being false. Like the gossip about you and Shen Qiang, and that picture… you weren’t really dating her…”

Still a possibility of it being false? Yes… didn’t he once purposely riled up the gossip about him and Shen Qiang and even initiated the breakup? Then would Xia Mo… also just be faking it… to get back at him, to make him jealous…

Remembering all the hurtful things he once said to her, Luo Xi’s lips whiten…

********

At the bookstore, Xia Mo concentrates on finding art books, pulling each one out to study carefully. The doctors had advised her that Xiao Cheng would need a lot of rest in preparation for the surgery and so he has been very obedient, listening to her and not drawing as much. And so as a reward, Xia Mo decides to buy him some art books. Originally, she had planned on coming by herself but since Ou Chen happened to stop by, he has also accompanied her.

As Xia Mo browses through the books, she notices that she and Ou Chen are the only customers in the store. When she has visited the bookstore in the past though, while it may not have been bustling, there have always been at least a few customers… Xia Mo quickly sneaks a glance over at Ou Chen, who is quietly selecting his own stack of books.

Since agreeing to Ou Chen’s condition at the hospital that night, the media seems to have already received word about their upcoming marriage. Xia Mo has no idea how they figured it out so soon already and has no desire to know; she had earlier already become numbed by the media craze.

This is the price she has to pay. There is no such thing as a free lunch and if she wants something, then she must pay for it.

Xia Mo is taken aback when she realizes that Ou Chen has caught up with her and deftly taken her books from her. Although hesitating for a brief moment, she allows him to do so. Since she has already agreed to marry him, she might as well start getting used to his presence.

However, there is still a book she has yet to buy… where is that “From Monet to Picasso”?

Unfortunately, the bookstore does not seem to carry this book and so Xia Mo goes to pay for her purchases. As the cashier is ringing up her price, Xia Mo begins to take cash out of her purse when she realizes that Ou Chen has already brought out his gold card and handed it over. However, Xia Mo insists on using her cash and the cashier wavers momentarily. Xia Mo does not turn to look back at Ou Chen, only holding out her money and staring straight back at the cashier.

And so Ou Chen slowly takes his card back.

However, as Ou Chen pays for his own purchases, Xia Mo sees that all of his books are also art books, and yet not one of them is a repeat of her own purchase.

“Do you have ‘From Monet to Picasso’?”

Xia Mo looks up in surprise! On their way over, she had briefly shown Xiao Cheng’s list of desired books to Ou Chen but it had only been but a glimpse. And yet he remembered everything that had been listed.

The cashier apologetically tells Ou Chen that they are out and will be receiving more stock in a few days. Ou Chen nods his head in acceptance and the two make their way out of the store. As they are exiting, Xia Mo notices the “Temporarily Closed for Business” sign hanging on the front door which is quickly flipped back over upon their exit.

Even when they were younger, he was always like this. Surrounded by the public, she has always felt like she was naught but a small pet he was keeping. However, from a different perspective, perhaps this is also his way of protecting her…

Sitting silently in the car on their way back to the hospital, Ou Chen is first to break the silence.

“I’m sorry; those headlines must be troublesome to you.”
“No worries. Since we’ve decided to get marry, they were bound to find out sooner or later.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you.”
“Will you… regret it?”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.”
“… There’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you but haven’t had the chance to…”
“What is it?”
“Thank you… for giving your kidney to Xiao Cheng. These past few days I’ve been thinking… perhaps I’ve been too selfish. The surgery will obviously have a potential of risk to yourself and yet I’ve been demanding that you must give your kidney up. Thinking about it now, I went too far.”
“You don’t hate me?”
“At the beginning, I did hate you. But what reason do I have to hate you? Xiao Cheng is my little brother, not yours. Your body and your health are most important to you and even if you say no, I have no right to blame you.”

Ou Chen gazes back at Xia Mo. Sitting there surrounded by the afternoon sunlight and glistening raindrops on the window next to her, she is so obviously physically next to him and yet he feels as if he could never touch her.

“Perhaps… we could push back the wedding date… until Yin Cheng gets better…” Until she can truly accept him…

But then, how long must he wait? He’s been waiting since he was fourteen years old; how much longer does he need to wait? And will Luo Xi even give him that chance…

Staring at Ou Chen in surprise, a few beats pass before Xia Mo responds. “Since the wedding date has already been decided, then let’s just keep it. I willingly agreed to this and after the wedding, I will do my best to be a good wife to you.”

Wife… Ou Chen slowly feels a warmth seeping through him…

They arrive at the hospital when Xi Meng calls Ou Chen, reminding him about a five o’clock appointment. Xia Mo thanks him for his company and politely declines his offer to walk her to Xiao Cheng’s room. Hefting the books herself, Ou Chen silently watches her departing figure as she makes her way through the misting rain to the front door of the hospital.

She never once turns back around to look at him.

*******

Xia Mo does not calm down until she is well beyond the front doors and can no longer feel that steady gaze on her back. Only then does she allow herself to relax her stance. Whenever she is with him, she always feels a sense of judgment passed on that makes her feel a need to repent for something.

She is the one who pleaded for his kidney to give to Xiao Cheng. She is the one who agreed to his condition. Then, she should try her hardest to meet him halfway.

It is only fair…

But, she cannot do it. She tried to use her acting skills to the best of her ability but she knows that they cannot trick Ou Chen. Has she somehow hurt him again today…?

She has already forgotten the memory of five years ago, no matter if it was the hate for him under that cherry blossom tree or swearing in that black pit that she would never forgive him… it has all turned into smoke. Perhaps in his mind, her existence is even more of a traumatic event…

Without even being aware of it, Xia Mo has arrived at Xiao Cheng’s room. Pasting a smile onto her face, Xia Mo lightly knocks on the door before entering.

“Sister…” Xiao Cheng is currently right in the middle of drawing something as he sits up in bed, drawing pad in lap. Xia Mo lightly admonishes him for disobeying her but then delightedly shows him what she has purchased for him from the bookstore. As Xia Mo begins laying book after book in front of Xiao Cheng, she notices a fidgeting Zhen En standing in by the window.

Xia Mo greets her but then notices the strange expression on Zhen En’s face, as if Xia Mo’s entrance wasn’t very well-timed – and then her eyes slide to a corner of the room right behind Xia Mo. Xia Mo follows her gaze –

Luo Xi slowly stands up from the couch, his eyes ink-black as they stare straight into her own.

“Long time no see.”

Chapter 2

“I’m sorry that I just now came to visit Xiao Cheng… I did look for you… and tried calling you… but you never turned on your cell…”
“It needs to be quiet at the hospital, so I turned it off…”
“Really…”

Luo Xi studies the carefully composed look in Xia Mo’s eyes, her expression as if she is simply looking upon a friend whom she has not seen in awhile. In that moment when she had entered the room and noticed his presence, a look of surprise and desperation had flared in her eyes, leading him to believe that perhaps he still has a place in her heart… did he see wrong…

Luo Xi asks how Xiao Cheng’s illness is faring and Xia Mo responds neutrally, the conversation between the two slightly stilted and a bit unnatural. Hesitatingly, Luo Xi tells her that he may occasionally come visit Xiao Cheng… if that’s not too much of a problem…

“There’s no need.”

Luo Xi is stunned. The words that he so painstakingly rehearsed on his way over here are instantly forgotten by her simple three words. Feeling bitterness course through him, Luo Xi is unable to control his next statement.

“What? Are you worried that I’ll run into Ou Chen? That I’ll cause you trouble?”
“If that’s what you think, then fine.”

She can’t even bother with making up an excuse now, can she? Then what is he still even doing here?! Luo Xi no longer wants to stay there but just as he is about to turn around and walk away, reasoning comes back to him. Although there is still a stabbing pain in his heart, Luo Xi realizes that this is his last chance. If he walks away now, then he’ll never be able to get her back…

“I’m sorry.”

Actually, those are words that she should be saying to him! Seeing his tormented expression, her originally numbed heart begins to feel pain again; however, what can she say to him now? Since agreeing to Ou Chen’s condition, she no longer has the right to say anything at all…

A few moments pass without either person saying anything. Luo Xi then mentions that he ran into a media executive the other day who still remembered who they were. At Xia Mo’s inquiring gaze, Luo Xi reminds her of the singing contest they participated in along with Xiao Cheng – and begins softly humming the song they sang together…

Xia Mo watches Luo Xi as he hums to her, and the smallest of smiles begins to spread on her face. It is as if the past few days never even happened and time simply stands still in that moment for them…

“When I was by myself in England, I often thought I was stupid for even thinking of this memory, that I would let this brief moment of happiness trick me. Haven’t I learned enough from past experiences already? But without these memories… perhaps I would have given up on myself in England. So I told myself, I will come back and ask why I was the one who was given up. But now, it no longer seems so important.” Pause. “But why am I the one being given up again this time?”
“Luo Xi… weren’t you the one who wanted to break up?”

*******

Ou Chen stares broodingly out the car.

Can finally be with her.

Can finally combine his life with her life together.

Can finally wake up every day and have her be the first one he sees, can have her warmth infuse his world, can always see her face, can no longer be afraid of having her forget him…

But her unhappiness is like a knife that cuts harshly through his heart. Even though she smiles at him and tries so hard to act in front of him, she cannot hide the hollowness in her eyes from him.

He knows that in reality she…

And so Ou Chen clenches his cell phone tightly in his fist for the longest time before finally making a call, staring out the window into the rain and yet seeing her departing figure.

“… the wedding… postpone it.”

*******

“Did I say that?” Luo Xi laughs although it is self-deprecating. “But don’t lovers do that when they fight? And then they make up and they’re even better than before? Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be…”

Xia Mo starts laughing incredulously as she looks away; she cannot look at him, she cannot listen to him… she forces herself to become completely numb! She no longer has the right to choose… everything has been decided already…

“There’s no Shen Qiang, there’s no one else…”
“It has nothing to do with her. I once trusted that there was nothing between you and Shen Qiang, and yet that ended up hurting you, making you think that I didn’t care about you. Perhaps, we are not suited for each other. Because you don’t trust easily, you need to have someone who can completely and wholly love you. Someone who’ll get jealous if there are dating rumors; someone who will worry about you if you come home late; someone who’ll get mad if you end up spending more time working than with her…”
“You mean you can’t?”
“I can’t. I won’t get jealous. If I trust you, then I won’t believe that the rumors are true. If I don’t believe you, then I’ll just leave. In fact, there are a lot of things that are more important to me than love. You won’t be my everything.”

And so, they are not really suited for one another and will probably end up breaking up, anyway. Perhaps it is better to separate now to lessen the pain. She assures herself repeatedly of this, not daring to look into his eyes.

“Like what? What else would be more important than me? Xiao Cheng is more important than me, right?”
“… yes.”
“And what else? Your career?”

Xia Mo’s lips tremble, not knowing whether to refute his claims or to continue making excuses. But what’s the point? She needs to completely end things as opposed to standing here and giving them a reason to fight. But, how come… she can’t say anything at all…

“And your friends, Zhen En, Pan Nan, even Yao Shu Er, Jie Ni… they’re all more important than me?”
“Luo Xi…”
“No problem. What if I can accept everything, then will it be okay?” Luo Xi smiles softly at Xia Mo. “If I accept everything, if I promise to not be so rash in the future, if I apologize for all the cruel things I said to you in the past… then, will you not be mad anymore and stop talking about breaking up?”

*******

When Ou Chen is asked what specific date he would like to postpone the wedding date to, he cannot respond properly and only says that preparations are being temporarily delayed.

How long… until she’ll truly accept him… Or will this day never even happen…

Glancing down, Ou Chen realizes that his bag of books is still sitting there. Originally, he was going to give it to Xia Mo to give to Yin Cheng together but she had left in such a hurry that he had completely forgotten. The paper bag lies there inconspicuously as if someone had simply thrown it away.

Noticing an art store, Ou Chen instantly stops the driver. Later returning back to the car, he carries “From Monet to Picasso” in his hand and tells the chauffeur to drive back to the hospital.

*******

“Xia Mo, I was wrong… I like you too much, I was too afraid of losing you… so I over-analyzed everything and acted immaturely… but, since it was my first time, there’s still another chance to fix it, right?”
“I’m sorry… It’s not you… it’s me…”

She does not understand why she suddenly can’t seem to breathe properly. She thought that with the exception of Xiao Cheng, she could give up anything. She had thought that she would be able to maintain an icy front towards him.

He shouldn’t be saying such things… That young and handsome man who had the devil’s air about him, always so confident and perfect without any weaknesses… how can such a person say such things?

Especially, since the one who is wrong… is her…

“Why say sorry? Wasn’t I the one who said we should break up? It should be me…”
“No, even… even if you didn’t want to break up, I would have said it…”
“… really…?” Pause. “He’s blackmailing you, isn’t he? Just like last time, he’s blackmailing you again.”
“No. He did not blackmail me.”
“No… then, what other reason could there be? We’ve already gone through all the possible reasons… Unless… you really do like him… we just broke up and yet you’re already together… so fast…”

Xia Mo says nothing although her throat is caught.

“I don’t believe you. Everything you just said – I don’t believe any of it. You’re lying to me, aren’t you? It’s all fake. My Xia Mo, such a good actress…”
“Luo Xi…”

Luo Xi continues to smile softly at her – and suddenly, his hand reaches out and pulls her into him as he kisses her passionately! The kiss is infused with a touch of desperation and yet still carrying the last bit of pleading hope. It is that desperation that breaks Xia Mo’s heart. She tries to move away from him but he is relentless, and she feels her body slowly falling under his curse. Xia Mo does her best to control her own reaction, forcing herself to not respond to Luo Xi’s desperate kiss and closes her eyes tightly without reacting.

The sound of footsteps approaching. Luo Xi lets go of Xia Mo, the stiffness of her body vibrating through his own. He cannot believe that she could just stand there without any reaction and cannot think of anything to say in that moment.

The footsteps come closer… and closer… Until Luo Xi finally looks up and then sees him, his fingers loosening their hold!

Ou Chen appears out of the shadows, his face unreadable. He steadily approaches Xia Mo, as if she is the only person there. Lightly grasping her by the shoulder, Ou Chen gently draws her into his own body – and Luo Xi numbly lets go.

Xia Mo looks back at Luo Xi but for an instant, and then giving up, she turns her face into Ou Chen’s warmth. Keeping one arm around Xia Mo, Ou Chen uses his thumb to gently wipe away her lips as if there is something dirty there.

“I just received a call; the church is completely booked for next month, so we can’t change the wedding date. It’ll be at the end of this month.”

Ou Chen informs Xia Mo this in the most casual of voices, completely ignoring Luo Xi’s presence. Keeping his arm around Xia Mo, Ou Chen turns to guide her away when he pauses at Luo Xi’s sudden outburst of laughter. Luo Xi’s previous moment of weakness completely gone now as he reverts back to the public image of him, confident and carefree as he strides purposefully away.

“Shouldn’t I be the one who needs to leave?”

*******

The original criticism towards Yin Xia Mo has reversed and now some newspapers are calling her a fairy tale Cinderella; her romance with young master Ou Chen was fated to be. Rumors also say that once Yin Xia Mo marries into the Ou family, she will be retiring from the entertainment industry, and so media channels have started to re-air her original MV and “Innocent Love Song” is premiering again for its second run. Critics say that the entertainment industry will dearly miss such a great newcomer actress but can only wish her well on her pending nuptials.

“Sister, have you really thought it through?”

Xiao Cheng watches his sister pace back and forth in his room, holding a bouquet of white flowers while she readies a vase of water for them. A small smile is on her face and for all intents and purposes, she appears to be happy.

However, that day when Brother Luo Xi had visited, her sudden tenseness at seeing him had caused Xiao Cheng to wonder that maybe things weren’t really so simple. They had walked out of the room later and although Xiao Cheng doesn’t know what Brother Luo Xi had said to her, he did not return back to the room with her, and it was Ou Chen who accompanied her.

“You and Brother Ou Chen’s marriage… why is it so rushed? Is it because…” Of some unspoken reason?
“You wouldn’t understand. This is called chong xi. There was a saying in ancient times, if there was a sickness in the family, then they would “rinse” some happiness into the family to wash the bad things away.”
“Sister… so that’s why you’re doing it?”
“Of course!” Laughing… “… of course, not.”
“Being able to see Sister getting married, I’m really happy! But I want to know… don’t you like Brother Luo Xi? Then why is it Brother Ou Chen?”
“You’re still young; there are a lot of things you wouldn’t understand. When you first like someone, it’s really simple but later you’ll realize that there are many reasons for breaking up. It could be because of personality, it could be because of the environment or perhaps that are many more things that are more important than love…”
“I don’t understand. Are you saying that you don’t like Brother Luo Xi anymore? Because of the rumors with Shen Qiang? Did you ever ask him about them?”
“You don’t need to understand. You just need to worry about getting better; I can handle the other stuff. I can’t help you with this so it’s up to you, okay?”
“I will.”

Originally he had thought the chances of finding a suitable kidney were really small but suddenly a match had come up. Although he understands that there’s still a possibility of something going wrong even after the surgery, just being able to find a new kidney will increase his chances of living! For Sister, he will take advantage of this chance! Although he doesn’t know who the donor is, he is filled with gratitude for that person. The doctors tell him that the donor wishes to remain anonymous and to simply be a Good Samaritan.

“But Sister, why exactly are you marrying Brother Ou Chen?”
“You… of course it’s because I like him, I want to be with him, and so I’m marrying him.”

Xiao Cheng simply cannot believe her though. The memory of that day five years ago, the bloody and teary memory, her being locked in that dark and scary place, and him fainting in the pouring rain… he had thought that she would never forgive Ou Chen.

So how would… Sister like Ou Chen again?

Ou Chen has been visiting more and more often these past few days, bringing something with him every time.  Sometimes green plants, sometimes painting supplies, but he always brings art books with him, often bringing ten books or more at one time. When Xia Mo fast thinks that Ou Chen must have bought the entire country’s supplies of art books, he then brings international ones with him to give to Xiao Cheng.  He is surrounded by art books in his room and then even to his greater surprise, Ou Chen has people bring in an art easel, turning his room into a lavish drawing studio.

One night, Xiao Cheng is deep in concentration on drawing, staring fixedly at his ink as he prepares it. So lost in thought is he that he doesn’t even hear the knocks on his door, only looking up in surprise when he suddenly realizes that Ou Chen is standing next to him. Xiao Cheng hurriedly covers his drawing to prevent him from seeing it although he does briefly glance down.

“Didn’t Xia Mo want you to rest more?”
“I’m tired of lying down, and I haven’t drawn in awhile… and I really want to draw again…”
“What are you drawing?”
“Um… nothing… it’s a present to give to Sister…”
“Really?” Ou Chen smiles. “Well, still don’t make yourself too tired; Xia Mo will worry.”

Xiao Cheng is taken aback as he watches Ou Chen organize the things that he had brought with him this time with the other things in the room. Watching him, Xiao Cheng realizes that Ou Chen isn’t quite the same person that he once knew. He remembers that in the past, Ou Chen didn’t really care for other people, only talking to Xia Mo and ignoring anyone else who was there. Even he himself was not really allowed to talk to Sister when Ou Chen was there.

However, even though this Ou Chen still doesn’t really like to talk that much, his coldness has greatly decreased. Even when Zhen En laughs crazily and makes a lot of noise in the room, Ou Chen will only sit quietly and do his work without being bothered. Xiao Cheng has never suspected Ou Chen’s feelings for his sister; no matter what he ever did in the past, Xiao Cheng knows that Ou Chen deeply loves Xia Mo.

But will Ou Chen display that same possessive love from before and harm Sister? And does Sister really not like Brother Luo Xi anymore?

“Why are you getting married so fast?”
“Did you ask Xia Mo? What did she say?”
“She said — because she likes you.”
“… Of course it’s because we like each other that we want to be together forever. If you want to keep drawing, then go ahead. I’ll sit by the door and let you know when Xia Mo comes.”

When Xia Mo and Zhen En later come to visit, Xiao Cheng has already placed all his art supplies away under Ou Chen’s notice. Xia Mo walks in carrying a bag of fruit, smiling when she sees Ou Chen. He offers to buy whatever she wants to buy next time as opposed to her doing it herself, and she warmly accepts.

Xiao Cheng studies the two of them carefully, but his attention is diverted by Zhen En who notices the art supplies hidden by his bed. She innocently asks him what he’s drawing, to which Xiao Cheng looks back and forth between her and Xia Mo in warning. Of course, Xia Mo notices the exchange to Xiao Cheng’s dismay.

“Didn’t you promise me that you’d spend more time resting?”
“I haven’t drawn for awhile and lying on the bed all the time is starting to make my back hurt, so I thought I would draw some to move around a little.”
“It’s okay as long as he doesn’t do it all the time.”

Xia Mo is startled at Ou Chen’s quiet statement. Ou Chen has always been strict concerning the people around her, not even liking it when she is especially close with her family members and yet he is speaking on behalf of Xiao Cheng… At the same time, Zhen En is messing around with Xiao Cheng, making him laugh at her silly antics. Xia Mo suddenly feels like everyone here is part of a family who’s known each other for a long time…

After peeling some of the apples, she hands one to both Xiao Cheng and Zhen En, and the last one she walks over to give to Ou Chen. Ou Chen is currently working on his laptop and going over some files though and looks up quietly at her when he senses her presence. Seeing that he is currently working though, Xia Mo does not hand the apple to him. Pulling out a small plate, she slices the apple into small pieces and then places that along with a small fork by his side.

Zhen En cannot resist poking fun at Xia Mo.

“Ah! Xia Mo, you’re playing favorites! That’s not fair!  Our apples are so simple and yet you are so sweet to Ou Chen! Please, even if you and Ou Chen are getting married soon, save the PDA for later, some people still don’t have a boyfriend yet and will be traumatized…”

Xia Mo’s face turns red. Ou Chen gazes unblinkingly at Xia Mo, deeply stares into her eyes, and she returns his gaze. There is an emotion that begins to unfurl between them, a feeling that can never be finished completely…

*******

“Sister Zhen En…” It is just Xiao Cheng and Zhen En in the room now. Although Xiao Cheng has seen his sister be much closer to Ou Chen these past few days, he still can’t get over this feeling… “Why are Sister and Brother Ou Chen getting married?”

Zhen En is taken aback as she remembers what she overheard that day. “I agree… as long as you give your kidney to Xiao Cheng… then… let’s get married…”

“I’m sure it’s… I’m sure it’s because Xia Mo likes Ou Chen! Ou Chen has liked her since he was young, has liked her for a really long time. Even though he’s kind of chauvinistic, but his love for Xia Mo is so strong! So I’m sure Xia Mo was really touched by it!”

She cannot let Xiao Cheng know the real reason for why Xia Mo is marrying Ou Chen! If Xiao Cheng finds out, he would definitely not agree with what she is doing and then what about the surgery? Xiao Cheng’s life will be endangered!

“And just look, their relationship is going along great! Even though Ou Chen doesn’t like to talk, just then the way he looked at Xia Mo was so intense and romantic! Doesn’t Xia Mo look happy? So let us congratulate them because they’re going to be very happy together, yes, they’re going to be very happy together!”
“Really…”

*******

“Thank you.”

As they’re standing in the hallway, Xia Mo softly thanks Ou Chen. She cannot let Xiao Cheng suspect anything, otherwise it will adversely affect his health. She also definitely cannot let Xiao Cheng know that Ou Chen is the donor, otherwise he will never allow her to use marriage to Ou Chen to exchange for the kidney. She can only let Xiao Cheng think that she’s fallen in love with Ou Chen, that it’s because of her own personal reasons that she wants the marriage to happen so quickly.

And so, she needs Ou Chen’s cooperation to make sure that Xiao Cheng is convinced.

“These past few days… have you just been acting?”

Chapter 3

The memory of that day at the hospital, where Xia Mo told him so calmly that she would have wanted to break up anyway, continues to haunt Luo Xi.

He is surrounded in darkness, voices laughing as ghost arms clamor to get to him, relentlessly grabbing at him as if to swallow him whole.

Luo Xi knows that he is in a nightmare right now…

She once woken him from his nightmares, giving him a chance of reprieve. But this time, he no longer cares to wake up – there is no point to being awake. What is the point of continuing to pretend to everyone else that he is the perfect and stunning Luo Xi…

Suddenly there is a light! A pale hand reaches out to softly shake him and Luo Xi slowly opens his eyes, seeing someone bathed in white light and standing so close to him…

“Xia Mo…”
“Luo Xi!”

It is Jie Ni, shaking him awake. Of course not… how could it be her…

Blurry-eyed, Luo Xi slowly sits up, his hair mused and sticking every which way. A few minutes pass by with him sitting there numbly before he asks if his scene is up next. Jie Ni is concerned over his health but Luo Xi brushes her concerns aside. Shen Qiang is waiting for him on set and she hands over a container of soup when he happens to sit down next to her. However, Luo Xi turns down the soup, leaving Shen Qiang awkwardly holding the container mid-air. Flustered now, Shen Qiang struggles to find a new conversation topic and asks him whether or not he has today’s newspaper headlines. Initially, Luo Xi has no interest in what Shen Qiang has to say but instantly straightens when he hears Xia Mo’s name. Taking the newspaper for himself, his eyes widen to see the words.

YIN XIA MO’S UPBRINGING REVEALED! BIOLOGICAL MOTHER WAS A BAR ENTERTAINER! [The literal translation is "to sell smiles" which essentially points to a less than savory occupation, such as a bar hostess or even prostitute.]

The article is written by a reporter named Hua Jin, and clearly lists details of Yin Xia Mo’s birth mother, including her name. It is clear that the reporter has done some thorough research for this article.

“No wonder she’s so good at always trying to reach above her station! … She’s not worth you doing this to yourself!”
“Since when did you start reading these gossip tabloids? Even though she may not be the best, she would never talk about someone else behind her back.”

Seeing the cold features on Luo Xi’s face before he walks away, Shen Qiang can only motionlessly sit there and watch his departing figure.

*******

Yin Xia Mo has once again become the topic of discussion for the media circles. The wave of criticism against her slowly begins to increase as people start to wonder if this news will affect her impending marriage to Ou Chen. Ou Hua Corporations is such a prominent and prestigious family; how is it possible that they will accept someone with such a pitiful background as their daughter-in-law?

“Don’t let Xiao Cheng see the newspapers. And don’t let him see anything on television.”

In the hospital gardens, Zhen En reassures Xia Mo that she will not let Xiao Cheng see anything from the media for the next few days. Additionally, she had already asked the nurses to do the same thing. Xia Mo thanks Zhen En for her help, to which the latter lightly scoffs; it’s not like she is a stranger or something. However, as Zhen En looks back on the newspaper, her attention focuses in on the picture of a young Xia Mo, pale and sunken-faced. While she had always known that Xia Mo had gone through some hardships as a child, she never quite realized the extent of those experiences until she read this story.

“That kind of  past… it’s painful, isn’t it…”
“It was painful at the time, but you grit your teeth and bear it.”
“This reporter, Hua Jin… it seems like she’s especially interested in you. As if she’s specifically targeting you…”

Xia Mo also has the same feeling, as if this Hua Jin knows her from somewhere. And the type of research and homework she had to have done for this article; it wasn’t impulsively finished. However, Xia Mo has no recollection of such a person in her past…

*******

Xi Meng stands to the side as he relates his report to Ou Chen. Using bribery and threats, the majority of the media outlets have already agreed to not pursue Xia Mo’s background as a headline. However, two magazines have not agreed, one of them being the original publisher of the headlines. Although the two magazines are known for being tabloids, their influences are wide-reaching and can even compare to that of Ou Hua Corporations. And all harmful media to Xia Mo has originated from them.

“Any chances of fixing this?”
“There’s still a possibility of discussion but it will take some time.”
“Do what you can.”

Looking down at the newspaper, the image of a young Xia Mo kneeling next to her mother’s body is burned into Ou Chen’s mind.

*******

Those two magazines are relentless in going after Xia Mo and go to incredible lengths to get more information, even interviewing “yesterday’s news”, An Hui Ni about the incident with Ling Hao.

The hospital’s atmosphere remains peaceful and calm in comparison to the turbulent media news. Xia Mo stays with Xiao Cheng every day, and the two quietly pass the time until one day, Xiao Cheng begs his sister to let him go out of the hospital.

“Sister, the weather today is SO nice… It’s been such a long time since we’ve gone out together; ever since I started college and ever since you entered the entertainment industry, we haven’t had a chance to eat dinner out.” Pause. “And the doctor said my health is doing pretty well and I just had a check yesterday, so going out won’t be too much of a problem.” Pause. “Sister, I’m going to go crazy being stuck at the hospital every day… Let’s just go out for an hour or even just go to one store! Please….”

Perhaps if they don’t go to a really busy place and only just for a little while… if they see any reporters they can just immediately leave… What are the chances of actually running into reporters at one store?

*******

The salesgirl happily greets them as they enter the bridal store. Xiao Cheng asks to see the dress which they had special-ordered. The salesgirl, Xiao Lu, is pleasantly surprised to meet Xiao Cheng personally as he had designed Xia Mo’s dress herself. The store originally did not accept personal designs for gowns but had been so impressed by Xiao Cheng’s design that they had immediately agreed to take on the dress.

While waiting for the dress, Xia Mo looks over at Xiao Cheng who also happens to be nervously staring back, as if anticipating her reaction. Xia Mo then realizes that it has been this dress design that Xiao Cheng has been working so hard on lately. She knows… that Xiao Cheng harbors suspicions of her marriage to Ou Chen; his mistrust of him from five years ago may never be absolved. Originally, she had thought that she would need to spend a lot of time and effort to convince Xiao Cheng but he took the news surprisingly well, only softly asking her if she was sure of her decision, as if afraid of accidentally hurting her feelings. And now — he even goes to so much trouble to prepare such a present for her?

“Your girlfriend is so pretty. She’s going to look stunning once the dress is on.”
“She’s my older sister.”
“Sorry! Sorry! But, she really is pretty, and looks just like this movie star…”

When Xia Mo nonchalantly brushes aside the reference though, Xiao Lu turns to point out the wedding dress, hanging in the middle of the store, pink crystals sparkling against the pure white material – the dress is like a dream, beautiful in its conveyed innocence.

“This dress is simply beautiful; everyone who works here is just in love with it, which is why we placed it here. However, since yesterday we’ve had customers coming in and requesting this dress, which is great and yet not at the same time.”

Xia Mo cannot believe how much effort it must have taken Xiao Cheng to create this dress. Xiao Cheng only smiles at his sister, as he tells her that he hopes that she will be the most beautiful bride possible. But first, she’ll need to try on the dress so he can make any necessary adjustments!

As Xiao Lu is ushering Xia Mo towards the dressing room though, a loud commotion entering the store pauses them – a mob of reporters have suddenly rushed into the store, surrounding two people. Xiao Cheng freezes when he sees this and cannot help but look back at his sister. Xia Mo instinctively looks up to see what is causing all the noise and is thunderstruck!

In the middle of the throbbing crowd are Luo Xi and Shen Qiang. Dressed completely in black, Luo Xi has lost significant weight, the paleness of his face making his typically dark eyes even blacker. Only the tinge of color on his lips still make him appear as seductively as before. Shen Qiang is cool and collected next to him, her gaze only leaving Luo Xi when she is answering a reporter’s questioning.

Xia Mo’s blood runs cold at the sight of Luo Xi. She had thought that she would never see him again. She would step out from the media industry and given Luo Xi’s pride, he would never appear in front of her again. Perhaps she may see him on television every now and then, but their two worlds would never again collide…

But… in that moment that she laid eyes on him, her gaze could not move away… her breathing is slowly taken away… only her resolve to never surrender forces her back to her senses, and she slowly, slowly looks away… and then finally notices the surrounding paparazzi…

“It’s Luo Xi and Shen Qiang!”

Xiao Lu cannot contain her excitement. A popular magazine is doing a wedding-themed shoot today, and so Luo Xi and Shen Qiang have arrived to complete the photographs. In her awe at seeing this power couple though, Xiao Lu is embarrassed to find that she has momentarily forgotten Xia Mo and Xiao Cheng. Hurrying to grab the dress for her, Xiao Lu pauses at seeing the whitened reaction on Xia Mo’s face — she really does look a lot like that movie star…

Shen Qiang forges ahead into the store. Reporters clamor around Luo Xi to ask him what he thinks of the recent headlines regarding his ex-girlfriend, Yin Xia Mo and whether or not there is another secret reason for today’s wedding shoot…

Luo Xi remains silent. The reporters can tell that Luo Xi is no longer the same carefree star from before, having become much more quieter. His sallow appearance also does not escape their notice and they wonder if it has something to do with the recent news of Yin Xia Mo’s marriage to Ou Chen. However, they choose to not bother him with any more questions because Luo Xi has always treated the reporters with graciousness, not displaying any of the arrogance that is typical of most movie stars and doing his best to work with them.

Shen Qiang suddenly stops when Xiao Lu brushes past her, pulling a dress from the center display. That dress… Shen Qiang cannot take her eyes off that dress. The dress is simple in its elegance and yet only befitting to be worn by a spring princess…

That dress… is what girls’ dreams are made of…

“That dress, I’ll buy it.”

Shen Qiang lovingly touches the fabric lightly, as she gazes in awe at the dress. The reporters go crazy.

“Is there a wedding date set already, Miss Shen?”
“Have you and Luo Xi already discussed a wedding date?”
“Is the wedding shoot for today really part of your future wedding?”
“When is the wedding date?”
…….

“My upcoming MV will be filming a wedding scene and I’ll need a dress for that section. I’m just buying it now so that I don’t have to waste time later to buy one.”
“I’m sorry! But this dress is specially requested by another client and it’s not for sale. I’m really sorry!”
“Oh really? But I want it.”

Xiao Lu freezes. Sizing up the situation, the store manager runs over to greet Shen Qiang.

“We’re so thankful that Miss Shen likes the dress but our client had already booked this in advance. Additionally, it was actually designed by the client, so there is really no way for us to sell it to you. If Miss Shen is interested, we have many new dresses in our store. Yesterday, we just had dresses shipped in from France and Japan; they’re simply gorgeous…”
“I’ll pay twice the amount.”
“Miss Shen, I’m really sorry…”

By this time, Luo Xi is running out of patience and tells Shen Qiang that it’s time to go. Seeing the exasperated look on his face though only makes Shen Qiang want that dress even more.

“Ten times.”

The store manager is stunned and even the reporters are confused; what exactly is it about this dress that makes Shen Qiang so determined to have it?

“I’m sorry but it’s really not the issue of money…”
“Please call that client. Perhaps she will be willing to sell it for ten times the price or she can state any condition she wants.”

The manager is torn. She does not want to offend a famous movie star such as Shen Qiang but to call the other client to ask such a thing is really bad business ethics. Xiao Lu seeing the awkward position that the manager is in, helpfully points towards the direction of where Xia Mo and Xiao Cheng are waiting hidden in the shadows, informing Shen Qiang that the client is coincidentally in the store at that moment.

Luo Xi’s entire body tenses. Looking first over at Xia Mo and then slowly to the wedding dress in question. A snow white dress with blinding shimmers of light emitting from every angle, he feels his mind going completely blank as the blood rushes to his head.

“This dress is Miss Yin’s?” Pause. “But I thought her dress was made from out of the county, with 999 diamonds sewn by hand? This dress is so old-fashioned, how can it even be worthy of her? How can it compare to her trouble of marrying into the wealthy…”

My goodness! It is Yin Xia Mo! The reporters cannot control their excitement; who would have thought that they would run into Yin Xia Mo here? With the exception of one female reporter who lags behind, the rest of them rush forward and surround Yin Xia Mo!

Seeing Luo Xi’s lost expression in that instant had momentarily frozen Xia Mo but then the rush of the reporters had wakened her again. She’s not by herself; she still has Xiao Cheng with her! Grabbing Xiao Cheng by the hand, Xia Mo tries in vain to head for the exit.

“Miss Yin, about your biological mother…”
“Miss Yin, will this news affect your wedding with Ou Hua Corporations’ heir…”
“Miss Yin…”

The reporters will not let Xia Mo get through! Xiao Lu and the store manager stand off to the side, transfixed by the scene before them. Shen Qiang watches unblinkingly; she cannot stand women like Yin Xia Mo, who step on men to get what she wants as opposed to using herself. This kind of a woman deserves to suffer a little punishment.

Snow white dress…

The shards of light shooting from the dress, as if laughing at him… she’s getting married, she’s really getting married… So definitely walking away, just peacefully leaving him… can he really continue to lie to himself that she’s just playing a joke on him?

Until he saw that dress.

And his heart bled drop by drop, draining until it became nothing but a black hole. There’s nothing left, just a lonely death now.

Finally, Luo Xi moves his glance away from the dress and to Xia Mo currently being surrounded by the crowd of reporters.

It’s none of his business now… Once she chose to leave his life, once she chose to wear that dress to marry Ou Chen, wasn’t that her way of saying that she no longer wants to see him? Does he think that she will fall over with gratitude if he helps her now?

She wouldn’t… she has already shoved you to the back of her mind…

*******

Xia Mo just wants to leave with Xiao Cheng!

Standing in front of Xiao Cheng, pulling him by his hand and using her other hand to try to shove her way through the throng of reporters, Xia Mo desperately tries to make her way to the exit. However, the reporters pay no mind to her protests.

“Didn’t you come to interview me? Then why are you still messing around with her?”

Although the voice isn’t loud, it is a soothing and gentle one. The reporters stop for an instant to see Luo Xi smiling softly, emitting a devilish air that is seductively beautiful.

The reporters instantly know that Luo Xi is trying to help Xia Mo.

There are unspoken rules to the entertainment world. Actors rely on reporters to get publicity out, and reporters rely on actors to increase their own journalistic reputation. It’s a quid pro quo arrangement, so as to maintain good relations between the two groups. Luo Xi has always taken care of the paparazzi during his career and the reporters really do not want to offend him. However, Yin Xia Mo’s news is just too juicy of an opportunity to let go.

“Ah Luo, haven’t you and Miss Yin already broken up?”
“You mean Ah Luo and Miss Yin still have a chance of getting back together?”
“Since we were able to meet her here by coincidence, why don’t we give her an opportunity to explain a little?”

“Do you think I’m trying to help her? A little actor who’s about to leave the entertainment industry is still worthy of stealing my news?”

The reporters look at each other in amazement. Does Luo Xi actually think that Yin Xia Mo is stealing his spotlight? Impossible!

Xia Mo cannot help but steal a quick glance at Luo Xi. Is he helping her? But his tone of voice and cold expression causes her chest to constrict. Luo Xi casually flicks a blank glance at her too, as if she is some stranger. He quickly looks away though.

“I’m going to be leaving soon for my next appointment, so I only have thirty minutes and it’s really noisy here… It looks like there’s a quiet coffee shop across the street; if you’re looking for an interview, then you best hurry up about it and follow me there.”
“Luo Xi, she already dumped you so what’s the point in still putting up a charade?”

Luo Xi looks like he has just been stabbed in the gut, his face instantly paling.

The reporters are horrified and instantly crane their heads to see who dares to so offend Luo Xi. It is a reporter from the infamous tabloid magazine, known for releasing much of the most scandalous gossip. In fact, just a little while ago, he had gone after a new actor, causing so much damage to his reputation that the actor ended up committing suicide. In a separate incident, the reporter offended another actor who had a mafia connection and ended up getting beaten within an inch of his life, but still didn’t learn from his experience, as if he has made it his life’s commitment to be a sensationalized reporter.

Without waiting for a response from Luo Xi, Reporter Liu sticks his face directly into Xia Mo’s and rapidly fires question after question at her.

“Yin Xia Mo, your biological mother worked in a bar, so why did you keep this a secret from us all this time?”
“You’re an illegitimate child, aren’t you?”
“It’s rumored that you started performing at a bar with your mother at age seven, so then aren’t you the rumored prostitute performer?”

Xia Mo struggles to retain her composure. She remembers this reporter from the incident with An Hui Ni, he had endlessly pestered her then too and even after the truth had been found out, he had not been satisfied that she had gotten off the hook.

“I have no response now please move!” In a shockingly bold move, Reporter Liu grabs hold of Xia Mo’s wrist, refusing to let her leave.
“Don’t leave! Am I wrong? Of course, your mother is not a bar hostess! Should be… a hooker… that’s right, hahahahaha…“

Realizing that Reporter Liu has no intention of letting her go, Xia Mo anxiously turns to Xiao Cheng and urges him to quickly leave! Xia Mo never told him the truth about their mother’s occupation, only that she greatly loved them…

Reporter Liu narrows his gaze on the hovering Xiao Cheng. “You’re Yin Xia Mo’s little brother, right? Little boy, are you an illegitimate child also? Have you seen your biological mother entertaining her “clients”? Your sister prostituting herself when she was young…”

SMACK!

Xia Mo’s hand flies across Reporter Liu’s face! “Are you a crazy dog? Forget about barking at someone from the media industry, but to also attack someone who isn’t even part of that world?”

The other reporters are speechless. An actor actually dared to publicly slap a reporter! The store manager, Xiao Lu and the remaining clients all gape open-mouthed. Shen Qiang only studies Xia Mo and then looks over at Luo Xi. Since seeing Xia Mo in the store, it is as if he has lost part of his existence, body frozen and a look of vulnerability and isolation on his face. His gaze has not once left Xia Mo since then.

Will she never be able to replace her?

“Yin Xia Mo! I will sue you! Yin Xia Mo! I will not let this easily go! I’m going to destroy you! You prostitute-raised piece of crap, how dare you…”
“Do whatever you want. But let me warn you again. I can easily just as sue you for all your defamatory remarks. Regardless of my mother’s occupation, she is still the world’s best mother. No matter if she chose to sing and perform, or to work at a bar, just as long as it was her decision, then I will support her as much as I love her. Only poorly-raised people will say such poor things.”

She is like a queen. Luo Xi watches her, the look of fierce protectiveness in her eyes. The younger her, threatening him off in order to protect her little brother… She is normally so calm and warm, but every now and then will bear teeth at others. It is this contradiction that makes her so compelling to others but will also mean that no one can ever really possess her. She is always so mentally composed; only when the person she cares most about is threatened will she ever explode…

And the one she cares most about… was never him…

“Look who’s talking about being poorly raised! Your prostitute of a mother had you two illegitimate children and then actually killed herself in front others for a man! You think people don’t know about this?! Pretending to be a little princess, you’re just a…”

Luo Xi’s calm voice cuts through Reporter Liu’s rampage. “Miss Manager, please don’t tell me you actually allow your customers to be treated like this in your store?”

The store manager finally comes to her senses and calls security.

“Does everyone have time for coffee?” Luo Xi is all smiles. “Except, Reporter Liu, you are not welcomed. In fact, you are never welcomed again.”

The reporters awkwardly laugh, mentally blaming Reporter Liu for being way too obnoxious and making such a public menace of himself.

“Ah Luo, you are too kind…”
“Yes, yes, how can we not give some face to Ah Luo…”

Luo Xi glides past Xia Mo as the trailing Shen Qiang levels a stare at her. However, Luo Xi ends up stopping right in front of Xia Mo and Shen Qiang’s heartbeat quickens. Luo Xi takes in the ashen Xia Mo and then directs his attention to the annoyingly persistent Reporter Liu who has not left Xia Mo’s side.

“Are you waiting for the police to come, Reporter Liu?”

Reporter Liu hesitates briefly, realizing that the other reporters have already started walking towards the coffee shop and then seeing the store employees call security. Knowing that it won’t do him any more good to stay there, he can only glare at Xia Mo with hatred and then stalks out of the store.

The store is suddenly quiet. Luo Xi walks out without a backwards glance.

Xia Mo stands in the center, watching his departing figure. Since he cannot see her, she uses this chance to watch him one more time. Perhaps, this will be the last time she sees him again…

“Sister…”

Xiao Cheng walks up to Xia Mo, gently supporting her and she allows herself to lean against him. “Xiao Cheng, I’ll tell you all about Mom when we go back. Don’t listen to the nonsense that he just said, it’s not true…”
“Sister! You don’t think…”

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!

One young female reporter has remained in the store, and she claps for Xia Mo as if clapping for an amusing show. While the entire situation had been happening, she had watched from the side but did not follow the other reporters out – she is much more interested in Yin Xia Mo.

“Long time no see. You’re just like before, always the center of everyone’s attention.”
“Who are you?”
“You mean you forgot me? You shouldn’t have. I am the reporter, Hua Jin, and as a reporter, it is my duty to make sure that the public knows everything.”

Hua Jin… Xia Mo stares at her, trying to figure out exactly what she is getting at.

“Oh yes, I have another name too — it’s Fang. Jin. Hua. And as Fang Jin Hua, I will return all the suffering you dealt me right back to you!”

Chapter 4

The black limousine pulls up alongside the sidewalk, and as a formal-dressed man opens the door, Xia Mo gets in, lost in thought. Last night Ou Chen visited the hospital and yet did not ask about the incident at the dress store, only asking if she would be able to set aside some time today to see an important person with him.

Originally, Xia Mo had feared that Xiao Cheng would be harmed by the nonsense that the reporters were spouting. But when they had started talking about it that morning in the hospital gardens, Xiao Cheng had actually lightly laughed.

“Sister, I’ve known the truth since I was little. Mom always came back home late at night with the smell of alcohol on her, sometimes shouting loudly at home, sometimes playing the music loudly to sing and dance to, sometimes suddenly just bursting into tears…”

“Xiao Cheng…”

“I didn’t understand why Mom always drank so much or why she suddenly killed herself, but I liked Mom. Prior to leaving for the bar, she would always kiss me good bye, before going to sleep she would kiss me good night… Even though she always woke me up, even though sometimes the smell of alcohol on her was unbearable,  sometimes her tears would be cold.”

“Yes. Mom was exactly that kind of a person. When I was younger, I never liked it that she would leave me by myself at home while she went out, never liked it that she left the house so messy all the time nor did she make dinner for me. However, she always bought pretty dresses for me to wear. Even though there was a time when we had no money, she would still call me ‘little princess’, and bought me shiny necklaces. Mom loved you a lot too. The need for alcohol was her life and yet when she was carrying you, she didn’t drink a drop of it.”

“Sister, Mom really loved me, didn’t she?”
“Yes. Xiao Cheng, do you know? There is no such thing as a perfect person in this world. Perhaps Mom was different from other moms; she loved to sing, loved to drink, loved to party, loved appearances, loved men, even being careless enough to drunkenly stumble off the stage and kill herself. But she loved us. To us, she was a good mom.”
“I understand. Sister, you don’t have to worry; I understand…”

Since he was young, Xiao Cheng had always understood things. He never once asked about his father, as if having a sister was already enough for him. As long as nothing harms Xiao Cheng, she doesn’t care what the media writes. Only… Xia Mo worries about that look on that reporter’s face… When she said she will expose everything… does that even include those dark and buried secrets?

In the car, Xia Mo takes a deep breath to calm herself. Telling herself to not think about those things anymore, Xia Mo is startled to realize that this is the road that goes directly to her old school. It was here that she first met Ou Chen.

She was eleven and he fourteen years old. Waking up from fainting, she had found him leaning curiously over her, his eyes looking straight into hers as if she was a doll. He had agreed to her request and he had asked her to act as his shooting target, holding an apple on her head. Wearing a white archer’s uniform, he had calmly looked at her before pulling the arrow and letting it fly!

When that arrow had pierced directly through the apple, that rush of air past the top of her head, she had felt the sweat gather on her back. And had wondered how this young boy called Ou Chen could be so carefully composed.

After that time, it was like he was determined to barge into her life. Every time he would return from out of the country, he would come find her, bringing her all different kinds of gifts. Sometimes it was a pink beaded necklace, sometimes a jeweled bracelet; one time she wanted a doll, and he actually brought back a doll that had looked exactly like her, saying that the doll had been made from her picture.

At the same time, her dad’s position was secured, work became a lot less stressful and his salary continued to increase, and the food at the table got better and better. And every day Xiao Cheng grew, his happiness at home and at school infectious. Although Ou Chen’s possessiveness sometimes burdened her, compared to what she received in return – she was grateful.

That was her most peaceful period when she was young. And sometimes she was selfish enough to wish that it would last forever.

Until Luo Xi appeared, until that terrible day, until she became haunted by horrific nightmares night after night did she finally realize… the happiness that results from relying on other people is just like a castle in the air, and will collapse any moment!

When they finally arrive at the Ou mansion, Xia Mo steps out and gazes upon it. Although it is currently spring, the tended gardens are lush and vibrantly green. A white bench is placed in the perfect spot to admire the view and off in the distance, one can see the sparking blue waters of the swimming pool. Xia Mo knows that there is also an indoor pool that was Ou Chen’s favorite place to swim.

Although it has been six years since she’s been here, the place has not changed at all. Almost as if none of the past had ever happened, and time had simply stopped during the time that she and Ou Chen were younger.

When Xia Mo walks into the living room, Ou Chen is currently in conversation with a French man, the maids pouring their coffee. When Ou Chen hears the approaching footsteps, he looks up into Xia Mo’s eyes and gets up to meet her, guiding her to meet the other man.

“Xia Mo, this is my father, Mr. Luo Bei Er, Mei Si Mei Er.”

Xia Mo is taken aback at Ou Chen’s introduction and her eyes fly back to the other man, who is already rising up from his seat to greet her. This is the first time she has ever met Ou Chen’s father. Since meeting Ou Chen, he had never brought up the topic of his parents and she had never seen a picture of them.

“Pleased to meet you.”

Mr. Luo Bei Er [Robert??] appears to be in his fifties, with golden hair and handsome, carrying the often-talked about “French romance”. Although Ou Chen does not look like his father at all, she surmises that it is possible that he looks more like his mother.

“Father, this is my fiancée, Miss Yin Xia Mo.”
“She is definitely a beauty.”

Xia Mo’s heart stumbles. At Ou Chen’s introduction to his father, it is as if she is finally waking from a dream. She is really getting married at this month’s end. Just six more days and she will be a wife. She will be married Ou Chen.

“I congratulate you both on your upcoming marriage. Ocean, even though your mother may be in Heaven, I know that she will feel blessed because of your happiness.”
“Thank you, Father.”
“Until the wedding, I will be staying in the vacation home on the outskirts of the city. If you need my help for anything, just let me know.”
“You can just stay here…”
“No, I don’t want to bother you. I have scheduled a lunch with a friend, so I will be on my way now. Once you’ve determined the time of the wedding, please let me know.”
“Yes, Father.”

As Mr. Luo Bei Er walks by, he inclines his head at Xia Mo, smiling in acknowledgement as he leaves. Xia Mo notices that there is still smoke rising from his cup of coffee on the table.

Ou Chen and his father… how is it possible that they only speak like polite strangers to one another?

His fingers unconsciously tightening a little on Xia Mo’s shoulder, Ou Chen watches the departing figure of his father with the disappointed eyes of a child. However, the disappointment is tempered by the ease of someone who has become accustomed to such a feeling. After awhile, Ou Chen resumes his usual self and turns to Xia Mo.

“I have something I want to show you.”

*******

A white car has been parked for some time just outside the wedding dress shop.

Luo Xi numbly watches the couples enter and exit the store, each couple so intimate with one another… Unable to take their eyes off the other and sharing secretive smiles…

Is she… like that also? When he is not able to see her, is she that intimate with Ou Chen? So intimate that she will cook Ou Chen dinner, so intimate that while he is sleeping, she will lightly brush aside his hair…

Luo Xi tightly closes his eyes against the images, pain in his heart like a poisonous snake slowly biting away. He doesn’t know what is the right thing to do. He wants to hate her and yet the instant he sees her or even hears her name, he is utterly diverted. He wants to forget her but yet she haunts him every night in his dreams…

Six days later she will be married. When he had seen her yesterday, there had been no apparent regret or lingering love left in her eyes for him. Thinking back, had he a moment of weakness, he would have given up everything to beg her, giving up his self-respect, uncaring if ultimately she would end up hurting him again — he just wants her, he just wants her to peacefully stay by his side like in the past!

Her eyes… there had been darkness in them…

He picks up his cell phone but just as he is about to the press the button, the doors to the wedding store open wide again – and he notices that her wedding dress is no longer there. Did she take the dress… His heart beating crazily; is she really so anxious to get married?!

The phone slips out of his hand as Luo Xi starts laughing bitterly to himself. But of course, since six days later, she will be getting married.

*******

When Xia Mo walks into another room, she is surprised to see her wedding dress waiting for her. Standing off to the side are several maids, holding boxes of different jewelry. What surprises Xia Mo the most though is to find Xiao Cheng standing there! When she had left the hospital, he had been currently drawing though!

“What are you doing here?”
“Because I don’t want to be slower than Brother Ou Chen to see you wear your wedding dress!”

Xiao Cheng laughs as he glances back at Ou Chen,  the two men seemingly sharing a silent joke together. Because of yesterday’s incident with the reporters, Sister never had the chance to try on her wedding dress. However, Ou Chen had approached him privately that night back at the hospital.

“You designed a dress for Xia Mo?”
“Yes…” Xiao Cheng tensed up, realizing that if Ou Chen knows about his dress then it must mean that he also knows about the incident at the store and that Sister had bumped into Luo Xi…
“But I had already commissioned an international designer for the dress and it will be shipped in from Japan tomorrow.” Pause. “However, I’ve decided to use your dress instead.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And I will hire the best seamstress to help you finish it. I just have one condition –”
“What is it?”
“That I be there for the first time Xia Mo tries it on.”

Xia Mo stands there in Xiao Cheng’s dress, the crystals shimmering gently as if a gentle halo surrounds her body. She is a princess. She is perfect.

Ou Chen cannot take his eyes off her.

The maids open the boxes of jewelry and Ou Chen chooses a delicate diamond necklace after giving a cursory glance over the selection. Approaching Xia Mo, he gently clasps the necklace around her neck, and she lowers her head for him, her eyes ink black. Ou Chen’s hands briefly pause around her collarbone after he is done, and as the diamond necklace shimmers around her neck, she raises her head to look back at him as they both stand there staring into each other’s eyes.

The sunlight surrounds the two together, creating a shadow of one – a beautiful painting.

“Sister, you’re beautiful.”

Xiao Cheng has always known that his sister was beautiful but yet it still could not compare to the vision she made wearing a wedding dress. When his gaze finally moves away from her, he notices that Ou Chen’s has not wavered from her at all.  As Xia Mo stares in the mirror at herself in awe, Ou Chen continues to watch her, as if the very meaning of his life is dependent on what she feels – her happiness, her bitterness, her sadness.

Ou Chen is really deeply in love with Sister…

In this moment, Xiao Cheng no longer wants to know why Sister is in such a hurry to marry Ou Chen. Perhaps, Ou Chen will bring her happiness after all.

When Xiao Cheng excuses himself from the room, Xia Mo realizes that she has been in a daze since staring at herself in the mirror, and that even the maids have exited the room by now, leaving her and Ou Chen alone. Ou Chen stands next to her in his tuxedo, a bouquet of white flowers placed between them.

Six days from now. They will be married.

“Will you regret it?”
“What about you?”
“Yin Cheng once told me… that you told him… that you are marrying me because you have feelings for me…”

Hearing the quiet hesitation in his words, Xia Mo’s heart constricts with pain, remembering their past memories together… Although the young him was always so cool and confident, every now and then he would display a lonely and childish air. During those times she was always with him, eating meals with him in the school cafeteria, doing homework with him in the home office, waiting to dry him with a towel after his swims…

The young him always seemed like a lonely little cat. His eyes would light up whenever he was happy and then sink into blackness when he was angry, sometimes enough to hurt others. However, a few soothing words was all it took to make him happy again.

“Xia Mo, no matter if you do regret…”

Realizing that an answer may not come, Ou Chen lightly caresses her face and gently places a kiss on her forehead.

“…this life you are my bride.”

Xia Mo’s heart seizes with pain and unconsciously reaches out to push him away! That pain… it is too much for her to bear… Not because of Luo Xi, not because of herself but because of him… She suddenly feels like she is an executioner, cruelly using a knife to sentence him and yet still maintaining an innocent and kind facade! She had already decided to forget the past. It is her asking him to give his kidney to Xiao Cheng, he is using his own health in exchange, and yet she… she continues to hurt him again and again, deeper every time…

Ou Chen’s entire body tenses! The previous warmth on his face is instantly washed away as his eyes blacken. Chuckling bitterly, he slowly lowers his hand. Xia Mo does not dare to look at him but out of her peripheral, she sees his lowering hand and softens her voice.

“Xiao Cheng… should be going back to the hospital by now… let me change first and we’ll go together.”

We…

Ou Chen is in a daze from hearing that word from Xia Mo’s lips. Even when she returns from having changed out of her dress, he is still standing there. It is Xia Mo gently taking him by the arm that causes him to wake up again. As they walk out of the room, Xia Mo keeps her hand on his arm and she quietly looks up at him.

This man by her side… six days later, he will be her husband.

*******

Xiao Cheng is sitting on the couch watching the television when they enter and he excitedly calls for her to come over.

Reporter Liu is currently on the television but is nothing like the pompous person he was yesterday at the store. His face has clearly been repeatedly punched, and all his teeth have been broken, making him look like a sad little clown. Staring mutinously at the camera, it is apparent that Reporter Liu wants to say something but with a mouth of broken teeth and a swollen face, it is difficult for him to make any noise.

The reporting journalist explains that Reporter Liu had been roughed up by some teens last night and while the police are still investigating the incident, it is rumored that this is connected with the suicide of the newcomer actor from last year that Reporter Liu had indirectly caused. Close friends of the actor had promised retribution against Reporter Liu and so he had been trying to avoid them but apparently they had received word of Liu’s whereabouts last night…

Xiao Cheng cannot contain his mirth at hearing the news; a reporter like Liu deserves to be taught a lesson!

Is it really a coincidence? Just a few hours after she had her altercation with Reporter Liu, after he had threatened to expose the incident to the public, he is so conveniently taught a lesson?

Xia Mo turns to look at Ou Chen. “Thank you.”

Ou Chen furrows his brow, briefly glancing at the television. “It wasn’t me. I only asked the media to not report the slapping incident, and that even if he reports it himself, that the other reporters stand out and tell the truth of what really happened. As to him being ganged up on, I have no idea.”

Xia Mo is taken aback; could it really just be a coincidence? Unless… no, it couldn’t be… he wouldn’t…

“Xiao Cheng, we should go back to the hospital now.” Although Xiao Cheng appears to be full of energy, he must be tired by now.

“Sister, you don’t have to stay with me all the time. I am doing fine. You should stay with Brother Ou Chen some more; you two are about to get married and I’m sure there are a lot of things for you to talk about, such as the invited guests and where to go for your honeymoon… Oh yes, and I wanted to invite some classmates to come so that they can see my sister and brother-in-law…”

Brother-in-law… Ou Chen feels his chest filling with warmth, unconsciously smiling in delight. Sister, brother-in-law and little brother… they… will be a family from now on. Reacting instinctively, he covers the slim hand that is still resting on his arm with his own.  Seeing the obvious happiness on Ou Chen’s face, Xia Mo’s heart is thrown into confusion and she looks away from him. She tells Xiao Cheng that it is fine for him to invite his friends to the wedding but they can discuss details later back at the hospital.

Xia Mo’s avoidance stiffens Ou Chen but yet she does not remove her hand from his arm. Perhaps, she just needs a little more time…

Xiao Cheng is about to turn off the television when he freezes in shock at the screen. “Journalist Hua Jin has just reported that actor Yin Xia Mo, the fiancée of Ou Hua Corporations’ heir, Ou Chen, was once jailed on accounts of injuring someone…”

Xia Mo’s blood runs cold as her entire body freezes and she can only stare at the television in shock. The anchorman continues with the story – Hua Jin had found out that Yin Xia Mo had been jailed five years ago for injuring another person and should have been rightfully sentenced to three years in jail with possibility of parole. However, because of an unknown benefactor’s protection, Yin Xia Mo not only escaped the law but the entire incident was virtually erased from her record. The only evidence of her being jailed was the fact that a statement of hers had been left in the evidence room with her name clearly written on it…

And as Fang Jin Hua, I will return all the suffering you dealt me right back to you!

It is her… the girl from high school who was beating that fat girl… that girl whose face she momentarily saw as she ran down that long and dark corridor…

She had tried so hard to forget those nightmares and yet they all come flooding back to her. In that darkened hell, she had thought she would die there… she had thought that she would never be able to leave… that sense of hopeless and fear…

Seeing the shakes that have begun to consume Xia Mo’s body, Xiao Cheng runs over to his sister, taking her in his arms and trying to calm her. She leans gratefully into his warmth, turning her face into his shoulder.

Ou Chen definitively turns off the television. “Don’t worry; I will take care of these lies.”

However, Ou Chen is uneasy. Xia Mo and Yin Cheng’s reactions are so extreme… unless… But he once had private investigators look into her background and nothing like this was ever mentioned. Are they just lies made up by Hua Jin? Hua Jin… Fang Jin Hua… He will not allow anyone to harm her!

“Lies…?” Xia Mo gently pushes Xiao Cheng away as a humorless smile plays on her lips, a creepy laugh escaping her. “Yes, perhaps your memory hasn’t come back completely yet…”

Forget it. There’s no point in telling him now; the past is in the past. She had once purposely destroyed him; perhaps that was her just punishment. However, to have Xiao Cheng innocently drawn into it too, she cannot forgive herself.

“I don’t understand. Unless… you really…”
“Have you forgotten? Didn’t you arrange all of this to happen? You mean you have really forgotten?”

Directly outside the entrance to the room, Butler Shen stands in stunned shock.

“Tell me! What happened in the past?! Why — why do you think I arranged it?”

How can this person stand there so innocently and dare to ask her what happened in the past!

“Taking our house, evicting us – wasn’t this your real master plan? Even arranging to have those people come humiliate me… those people…”

*******

Because she could not afford to continue to pay the hospital bills, she had no choice but to bring the still weak Xiao Cheng back home. However, upon their return home, they find that the doors are wide open and five to six people are currently moving their things out of the house. The television, refrigerator, washing machine – anything that is worth any money at all is being taken away. The yard is a mess, covered in their belongings that the men apparently did not want and so carelessly threw out.

When Xia Mo demands to know who these men are and what they are doing in her home, they laugh at her, saying that ownership of the house has already been moved back under Ou Hua Corporations, which means that everything in it also belongs to them.

Xia Mo remembers being notified that Ou Hua Corporations was seeking reimbursement for a sum of money that her father had borrowed from them. It was Ou Chen who had taken that money to buy them the house. With the many surgeries that Xiao Cheng had, Xia Mo had nearly gone through all the life insurance money they had received from their parents’ deaths and any money left in the bank was nowhere near that sum. The court had determined that the house would be used as collateral to repay Ou Hua Corporations, giving her and Xiao Cheng one month to move out.

Yes, returning the house is the rightful thing to do but they do not have to force them out like this…

“We still have a month left to move out so this place still belongs to me! You have no right to touch anything here! If you don’t immediately move everything back and get out of here, I will call the police!”

One of the young men laughs in Xia Mo’s face and grabs her hair painfully. “Go ahead and call the police! Let’s see who dares to touch us when Ou Hua Corporations can so easily destroy the police! Even if you die today, no one would care!”

The men have surrounded Xia Mo now and start to push her around.

“You little bitch!”
“Let’s teach her a lesson!”
“If we don’t show her now, she won’t realize how much power Ou Hua Corporations has!”

The men shove Xia Mo to the ground like she is nothing but a puny little ant.

“Let go of my sister!”

Xiao Cheng tries to attack the men but his weakened body is no match for them. The young men turn on him, laughing at his pitiful attempts. The expression in one of the men’s eyes changes as he stares at Xiao Cheng, a sick hunger flitting through them as he pulls Xiao Cheng towards him.

“You still have some growing to do but that is exactly what I like! Come, give Big Brother a kiss!”

Xia Mo is horrified, having heard of the sick things that some men have done to young boys, even kidnapping them to other places! Surging up and launching herself at that man, she sinks her teeth into his arm, causing him to cry out in pain and letting Xiao Cheng go.

“RUN!”

Xia Mo grabs Xiao Cheng’s hand, and they run like hell is chasing after them. However, Xiao Cheng is unable to keep up with Xia Mo and ends up tripping on the street!

“Precious, did you hurt yourself?” One hand ruthlessly yanks Xia Mo away from Xiao Cheng as that man grips Xiao Cheng’s chin in his hand. “Come, why run? Let Brother take care of you and you can be his little lover. I’ll let you eat whatever you want… “

Xia Mo yanks Xiao Cheng away from the man, holding him close. “You can have whatever you want in the house! Just let us go!”

However, the man laughs, refusing to let Xiao Cheng go and although Xia Mo tries desperately to hold onto Xiao Cheng, she can feel him slowly slipping from her grasp. No! He cannot have Xiao Cheng! She will not let him take Xiao Cheng away from her!

Xia Mo sees darkness in front of her; she will not let go of Xiao Cheng!! The man continues to laugh, promising Xiao Cheng that he will take very good care of him, and love him, and kiss him… Xia Mo finally feels her grip loosening, and she falls to the ground as Xiao Cheng starts being dragged away. He screams her name, begging her to help him… and as Xia Mo fumbles to get back up, her hands touch something cold and hard…

CRACK!

She slams down on his head with all her might! And then… drop… by drop… the blood drips down onto her face… and the darkness fades from her eyes as she sees the fresh blood slowly dripping…

*******

“Sister… Sister…”

Xia Mo surfaces from her recollection as she looks down at the concerned Xiao Cheng; why does he still look as sickly as he did six years ago? Had Ou Hua Corporations not been so heartless, Xiao Cheng wouldn’t have had to leave the hospital sooner than necessary. Had she not been in jail, Xiao Cheng wouldn’t have fainted in front of the Ou house after being in the rain all night. He could have taken better care of himself and not be so weak today…

“I wouldn’t!”

Ou Chen’s vehement proclamation catches Xia Mo’s attention. Although he is still not too positive about what exactly happened, but he… no matter what time, no matter how unreasonable he may be, he would never do anything like that to harm her!

“If you really have forgotten, such a small thing isn’t worth trying to remember then.” Pause. “I’m sorry, but I’m really tired so I should be going.”

Ou Chen watches Xia Mo leave with Xiao Cheng. Just like that night six years ago, she never once turns back around to look at him; no lingering feelings and no regrets. Ou Chen has never felt such coldness consume him before. Finally seeing the immobile Butler Shen, Ou Chen asks icily.

“Butler Shen, can you tell me what exactly happened?”

Chapter 5

Xiao Cheng worriedly watches his sister standing by the window from his hospital bed. She has already been standing there for some time, seemingly watching the stars up in the night sky. Remembering when Sister had come out from the darkness, her entire body covered in wounds and even a fresh cut on her face. Xiao Cheng had tried to ask her what had happened but she had not expanded. Slowly, that wound had healed from her face, leaving no visible scar. She had slowly gotten better, going back to her usual warmth and smiling as before. Only that night in that darkness… it became something that they never talked about again.

Why can’t he and Sister just completely forget those memories…

KNOCK! KNOCK!

When the door opens, Xiao Cheng is surprised to find Butler Shen standing there.

“Miss Yin, first please forgive me for my intrusion and also understand that Young Master did not ask me to come here. I come for personal reasons.”
“Please speak, Butler Shen.”
“Miss Yin, forgive my bluntness but you have no right to hurt Young Master’s feelings for your personal suspicions.”
“….”
“The court’s decision to move the house’s title back to Ou Hua Corporations, even bringing up the debt in the first place, and then taking the house back – it had nothing to do with Young Master. Because… it was my decision.”
“What did you just say?”

Xia Mo looks at Butler Shen in shock! She has known Butler Shen since she was little and he has always been by Ou Chen’s side, loyal and a father figure to him.

“Yes. I had received a report of what to do with your father’s debt upon his passing and I made the decision for Young Master to settle the matter of repayment in court.”
“Ou Chen would let you decide for him…”
“Young Master had no idea.”
“….”
“On the night you and Young Master broke up, Young Master was driving by himself in the rain and got into a severe car accident. He was in a coma for more than two months and when Young Master finally awakened, he had forgotten everything.”

Car accident?!

A light finally lights up in Xia Mo’s head and she cannot move! Remembering the first time she had run into Ou Chen at Lei Ou Company, and how Butler Shen had mentioned Ou Chen’s amnesia… She had always thought it was just an ordinary accident… In actuality…

Ou Chen got in an accident on the night they broke up?! Six years ago underneath that cherry blossom tree, she had angrily thrown the green scarf into the air, anger and devastation making her say such cruel things to hurt him, his ashen and torn face as he knelt before her…

Ou Chen…

Ou Chen…

The night that she lost control of herself and said such horrible things to him… that was the night that he got in an accident…

She is Young Master’s curse. Seeing the lost and devastated look on Xia Mo’s face, Butler Shen feels sadness in his own heart. When he had first met her, he had thought that she was Young Master’s light. For her, Young Master would smile, would hope, would worry and would stay up to the middle of the night to personally make her presents.

But on that night, she was so cruel and composed!

Standing by the main entrance, he had been unable to hear the conversation but he had seen everything! He had seen Young Master kneeling before her and had wanted to rush forward to help him stand back up! But his prideful Young Master would not have wanted someone to see such a thing…

When Young Master finally walked out, it was four hours later. He was completely soaked by the still pouring rain, his hair sticking to his face while drops of water dripped down. Young Master walked out slowly and even then he still turned around to gaze back at the yard; even to this day Butler Shen has been unable to forget that broken expression on his face. Young Master had requested the driver to get out of the car and before either him or Butler Shen could react, Young Master had peeled off into the distance at a frightening speed!

When he had received the phone call from the police, Young Master was already covered in blood and being taken to the emergency room. The surgery lasted a whole day and even Old Master had returned from France. Yet Young Master never wakened from his coma. The doctors told them that aside from the external injuries, Young Master also had a blood clot in his brain, and that the situation was dire.

Was Young Master’s car accident really an accident, or… he doesn’t dare to think, that for such a girl, his prideful Young Master would actually…

But the hurt that she dealt to Young Master… he cannot forgive her! So when that report had been delivered to Old Master, he had convinced him that she must pay the price for hurting Young Master.

“I didn’t realize that the men who were sent to take over the house would be so violent, and assault you and your brother, causing you to be jailed on account of injuring someone. Although this apology may be too late, I still want to express apologies to you and your brother.”
“Everything… it was you?”
“Yes.”
“Even including Xiao Cheng passing out in front of Ou house, letting him lie there in the rain and yet not even checking on him or calling the ambulance… it was you?”
“Sister, it wasn’t Butler Shen…”

When Sister had been taken to jail, Xiao Cheng had been consumed with worry. In his panicked state, he had thought of the one person who could help her and so had went directly to the Ou house. However, no matter how much he pleaded outside the house, no one would let him in and under the plummeting rain, Xiao Cheng finally passed out on the ground.

“I ordered them to not let anyone in the house.”
“You seem to think that everything you did was rightfully so.”

Since that night of being in the rain, Xiao Cheng’s health has never been completely better. And now, the only viable option is to have the kidney surgery and the doctors said that even with the surgery, Xiao Cheng may…

“After seeing Young Master suffer so much, of course I saw everything I was doing as right.”
“If you want to come after me, I have nothing to say. But Xiao Cheng was just a kid! Don’t you feel bad at all?”

A flash of remorse flashes in Butler Shen’s eyes.

“I will take responsibility for what I’ve done. But you misunderstanding that it was Young Master’s doing really caught me by surprise.” Pause. “Young Master uses his life to love you. He would never do something that would cause you pain. Please treasure Young Master’s feelings and not hurt him time after time.”

*******

“Yin Xia Mo again…”

At the bar, Shen Qiang mutters in distaste as she drinks while placing an old newspaper back down on the counter. Out of curiosity, President Xia reaches over to read it.

Hua Jin? This reporter must have some incredible ability; that year he had ordered people to clear Yin Xia Mo’s record and yet his efforts were still in vain.

Yin Xia Mo… President Xia wonders what she had wanted to find him. He would rather not talk about the past again but if she does have a need… For that person, he wouldn’t just ignore the situation…

“Perhaps the wedding will be cancelled. I can’t imagine Ou Hua Corporations wanting that kind of a daughter-in-law.”

Shen Qiang glances at Luo Xi to gauge his reaction. Although Yin Xia Mo’s jail time has been published, headlines in the media are like bubbles; after one day in the news and everyone will stop talking about it. However, society now knows about everything – and there’s evidence to support the story.

Luo Xi acts as if he has not heard nor seen anything, only silently drinks glass after glass. Shen Qiang actually hopes that Yin Xia Mo does marry into the wealthy so that Luo Xi will finally see what kind of a person she really is; such a girl is not worth him treating himself like this!

“You can’t drink anymore!”

Unable to take it any longer, Shen Qiang takes the glass out of his hand. Luo Xi stares blankly at his empty hand, looking as if his life’s most important possession has just been stolen from him.

“Is she worth it? What’s so great about her?! She’s just a flippant girl, manipulating others to get her fame and fortune, only wanting to climb higher and higher! You’ve done so much for her and yet the instant she had a chance to marry into the wealthy, she shoved you to the back of her mind…”
“Enough!”

Unwilling to listen to this, Luo Xi stands unsteadily on his feet. Whether it is from drinking too much or the fact that he hasn’t slept in the past few days, Luo Xi sees darkness in front of his eyes and ends up falling to the ground! Shen Qiang rushes to help him stand back up, trying to see if he has hurt himself and Luo Xi brushes her off. Excusing himself to President Xia, Luo Xi turns to walk away. He just wants to be by himself in his room, he doesn’t want to see anyone and he doesn’t want to hear anything that has to do with her.

“Luo Xi!” Shen Qiang moves to chase after Luo Xi but is stopped gently by President Xia.
“Let him go. There are just some wounds that a person has to heal alone. Give him some peace and quiet.”
“But he drank a lot…”
“I’ll take care of it.”

*******

Luo Xi stumbles drunkenly down the street, grasping railings and leaning against buildings when possible. However, he doesn’t make it far down an alley before finally giving up, sliding against the wall down to the ground.

She was once jailed… Even with her composed and rational personality, she could be forced to do something against the law… it must have been something horrific. During those days, she suffered so much…

He wants to see her! He wants to know what happened, wants to know if she has fully recovered from the past… And if she doesn’t want to say anything, then just let him sit quietly by her side…

But, she doesn’t need him… she already has someone else at her side…

Will Ou Chen give her up because of her past?

His chest suddenly constricting with pain, Luo Xi curls up and begins vomiting, his face ashen white and transparently thin. In the midst of violently vomiting, his eyelashes slowly become wet by his tears.

If so, he will go laugh at her, will make her regret ever dumping him! And then… he will forgive her… he will hug her, love her and spoil her, give her everything she could ever want… and he will never let her leave him again…

The strength has completely left his body now that his stomach has emptied its contents, and two tears slowly creep down Luo Xi’s face. Those tears glisten in the darkness of that darkened corridor.

Ou Chen… how can he possibly give her up… Countless times he has seen himself Ou Chen’s feelings for her… so intensely he looks at her, as if she is life’s only light… How can he possibly give her up because of her past…

He’s just only dreaming… fate has intertwined her life with Ou Chen’s and he… he is just pointless. Ever since he was born, he was just pointless…

“Mr. Luo!”

President Xia’s employee has finally caught up to Luo Xi and rushes over to help him back up. Luo Xi declines his offer though and weakly gets back up, using the wall to support himself and slowly starts walking back towards the main street.

“Mr. Luo, I’ll take you back home.”
“There’s no need.”

No way to get it back… Three days later, she will be someone else’s bride…

*******

The next day.

An opened leather suitcase is sitting on the desk filled with years of mementos and prized possessions. An aged hand gently picks up the picture frame by the bedside. Framed by sunlight, the picture is of a two year old Young Master, who had been playfully chasing a small cat in the gardens when he had almost tripped in his haste. He had caught Young Master from behind just in time, and Young Master had turned his head to smile back at him, a child’s charm and exuberance.

He stared at that picture for a long, long time.

Butler Shen then slowly places that picture frame into the suitcase and zips it close, the sound final and almost deafening in the quiet bedroom.

“I heard you resigned?”

It is Xia Mo standing at the entrance to the bedroom, staring at Butler Shen who by now has his suitcase in hand. When she had learned the news of Butler Shen’s deception from six years ago, she had originally thought that she would hate him for what had happened to her and Xiao Cheng. However, staring at this weathered and elderly man, she cannot bring herself to feel any hatred.

She had originally been waiting in the living room for Ou Chen but when she had not seen the ever present Butler Shen, she had casually asked a maid of his whereabouts and had then been informed of his resignation. Taken by surprise, Xia Mo had then asked to be shown to his bedroom.

“Yes, Miss Yin.”
“Because of what happened six years ago?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you didn’t regret any of it.”
“Yes, I don’t regret it. If given the choice again, seeing a comatose and injured Young Master lying helplessly in bed, I would choose to do the same thing. However, my actions caused you to misunderstand Young Master, caused you to needlessly suffer and also caused your innocent brother to be pulled in. I should take responsibility for all of that.”
“And so your way of taking responsibility is to leave Ou Chen?”
“You will be marrying Young Master soon, and most likely would not be able to stand constantly seeing the person who caused you and your brother so much suffering.”
“If you are leaving because of me, then, stay because of Ou Chen.”
“…”
“Who can clearly say who’s right or wrong in the past. Although it had been the worst time then, the truth is that my father had a debt to pay and to seek repayment for a debt is just. Even though I am very bitter that you once allowed Xiao Cheng to stay out in the cold and rain that night, I also once immaturely tortured Ou Chen. Perhaps it is simply karma but I cannot say that I am completely innocent in what I’ve done so what right do I have to make you leave?”
“Miss Yin… your well intentions are much appreciated but I have no right to stay any longer.”
“If you leave, what will that fix? So stay… don’t let Ou Chen lose another family member… Ou Chen can’t leave you and you… can’t leave Ou Chen either. As for me… if I need to, I can easily let my eyes not see what I don’t wish to see.”

Having said her piece, Xia Mo takes the suitcase from Butler Shen and places it back on the desk before walking out.

******

Leaving Butler Shen’s room, Xia Mo’s heart is strangely at peace, now knowing the truth of what had happened in the past. She had once hated him, believing that this had been his revenge against her, that his feelings for her were just like treating a doll – because he liked it, he wanted to possess it. But if he could not have it, he would destroy it.

But… she misunderstood him…

“You… came to find me?”

Ou Chen is standing in another room staring out the window when he realizes that Xia Mo has walked in. When a maid had informed him that she had been waiting for him, the brief flash of happiness in his heart had quickly been replaced by panic. He had heard her conversation with Butler Shen and although he is grateful to her for convincing Butler Shen to stay, he worries that it is because she will no longer be staying with him.

She came to find him… Is it because she cannot forgive the suffering from six years ago or because she wants to cancel the wedding?

“Yes. I would have come sooner but Xiao Cheng’s treatment at the hospital has been more intense than usual and so couldn’t make it until now.”
“Is he better now?”
“Much better.”

Walking together while talking, they end up in the office. Xia Mo used to be in this office often when she was young, doing her homework while Ou Chen would go over business papers. Every now and then she would look up, and find Ou Chen just gazing at her, his eyes as deep as the lake’s water and just as bright.

The office is essentially the exact same from six years ago. The only difference is that a few picture frames have been placed on his desk. Looking at the pictures, some from a long time ago, Xia Mo had thought that there was only one original set – the one that she hidden away at home. A picture of him placing a kiss on her forehead at school… a picture of them by the lake as she holds out a towel for him after his run… And then a picture of her modeling for the Lei Ou commercial, standing against a backdrop of blue ocean waters, looking like a little mermaid… a picture of her lowering her head as she ties the green scarf back onto his wrist, the background light framing them like a painting…

Seeing all these pictures on his desk, Xia Mo feels her heart squeeze with pain…

“I just received a report from the private investigator and was going to bring it to the hospital to show you. Although it was Butler Shen who ordered the repayment of the debt and taking back the house, he did not send those group of men. They were just riffraff from the streets and wanted to take advantage of the fact that Ou Hua Corporations was taking the house back. Unfortunately, you stumbled upon them just as they were emptying the house and so they pretended to be our employees.”

Staring at the picture of that man in the report, Xia Mo’s hand begins to tremble as she remembers his heinous laugh echoing in her head… how they had all surrounded her…

“He’s dead.”
“Because of me…”
“No. He was in the hospital for some time and then got better. However, three years later he was killed in a fight.”

He had originally intended to go after this man who had dared to harm her and then let her decide his punishment but who could have guessed that he would already be dead.

Xia Mo slowly places the report back down on Ou Chen’s desk as she stares out the window. Perhaps everything is already arranged by fate…

“If you came today to cancel the wedding because you cannot forgive what happened in the past… I don’t agree. I’ll make it up to you, everything you suffered in the past, I’ll make it all up to you. I will make you happy, love everything that you love, and I won’t ever let you be scared. I won’t let you be sad or cry and I will do my best to make you  happy.”

Suddenly reaching out, Ou Chen pulls Xia Mo into his warmth, lowering his chin on top of her head. Hoarsely, he continues.

“So… don’t cancel the wedding. Don’t send me back to hell right before I can dare to believe in my own happiness…”
“Ou Chen…”

Xia Mo tries to raise her head to look at him but Ou Chen continues to tightly hold her, as if afraid that she will leave him at any second.

“I came to apologize.”
“…”
“I’m sorry. I’ve always thought it was your doing and so I’ve hated you for a very long time.”

Ou Chen’s breath catches. Has she… started to accept him then?

“That night… you were in a car accident?”

Xia Mo stares at Ou Chen, remembering Butler Shen’s words and the guilt increases in her heart. Even though she tells herself that it was simply a coincidence, she cannot escape her remorse.

Car accident… Those two words repeat themselves in Ou Chen’s mind as he recalls that uncontrollable night from six years ago…

The highway is empty as he crazily presses down on the gas pedal, dangerously increasing his speed. In that hazy and rainy night, he knows that she has completely pushed him out of her world… she never once liked him and will never forgive him!

Suddenly a flash of light appears – a truck is coming towards him!

Both hands gripping the steering wheel, he had only been paying attention to the steady rain bouncing off the windshield, her words echoing constantly in his mind – her cruel and definitive words as she walked away from him without a backwards glance…

“What can I do so that you’ll forgive me?!”
“Unless… you die.”

Death… then she will forgive him…

As the lights come closer, he slowly closes his eyes, allowing his hands to slip away from the steering wheel…

Death… then she will forgive him…

……….

“It was just an accident.”

Ou Chen looks away from her eyes, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Turning away from her to his desk, he hands over a list of names.

“The wedding invitations have been sent out already; why don’t you look it over to make sure none of your friends are missing.”
“Really…”

Although her remorse can be slightly decreased by the fact that the accident was just a coincidence, why is it that her heart becomes even heavier while looking at Ou Chen? Was she wrong… her so immaturely hurting him…

“Yes.  You don’t have to worry about it. We’ll be getting married the day after tomorrow and the past isn’t important anymore. You just need to remember… I will do everything in my power to make you the world’s happiest woman.”

Happiness…

Under his intense stare, Xia Mo feels her head go white and she is suddenly filled with a feeling of warmth that is hard to describe… But then it quickly disappears as a pang of loneliness chases it away.

She is not meant to be happy. Perhaps, she does not need that kind of happiness. Happiness is only an illusory bubble, beautiful and floating carefree in the air but even the lightest touch will shatter it.

******

Originally Xia Mo had planned on leaving straight from the hospital to the wedding ceremony but Xiao Cheng wouldn’t have any of it, saying that it’s not lucky to leave from a hospital. Xia Mo thought it was a riot to hear the words “lucky” come from Xiao Cheng’s mouth although he paid no mind to his sister’s teasing. The doctors were thus persuaded to let Xiao Cheng go back home for two days.

Going back home, Xia Mo had thought that the house would be dusty and cold, and yet it was spotless when she opened the door, the floors scrubbed so clean that they reflected. Even the covers of the couch looked as if they had been washed and re-covered. A vase full of white flowers sat on the table in the living room. Milk runs out to greet them with an excited “meow”.

It was Ou Chen…

Ou Chen bought this house that she and Xiao Cheng have lived in for so long. Xia Mo takes in the house that now looks completely new. She had given a set of keys to Ou Chen, asking him to temporarily take care of Milk.

When had he been such an attentive man? Is it because he has changed from six years ago or because she never realized it six years ago?

*******

That night Xiao Cheng prepares to make dinner for them but Xia Mo tries to drag him out of the kitchen, ending up in a brief tug-of-war between the two. Finally, the two agree to share dinner duties. She made his favorite dish and he made her favorite dish.

During the meal, Xiao Cheng is bubbling with excitement.

Pestering her with questions about details of tomorrow’s ceremony and whether or not she is sure she wants him to walk her down the aisle… does she need to find another father figure for her? What about if he accidentally steps on her dress? Or what if he can’t bear to give her to Ou Chen? The wedding should really have fresh flowers – he’ll wake up early tomorrow to go to the flower shop to buy them!

Laughing at his questions, Xia Mo finally sends Xiao Cheng to bed for fear of his excitement disturbing his rest.

*******

Later that night, Xia Mo sits in her room, staring at the wedding dress that is hanging by her bed. Milk stealthily enters her room and climbs into her lap, and she instinctively begins to pet him, her mind a white cloud. She doesn’t know what she’s thinking or whether she’s not thinking at all. This is the best she can do – what she can do – this is the best.

*******

That same moonlight.

Ou Chen stands out on his balcony, his hands grasping the railing, the green silk scarf from his wrist dancing gently in the wind. His eyes are as green as the forest. Perhaps he will be punished for forcing her hand… but to be able to be married to her… able to place their names together forever… he is willing to forsake everything.

He prays to the heavens.

Please let him have this one last chance to be with her.

*******

That same moonlight.

Luo Xi sits numbly on his couch at home; he has been there for one day and one night, not having eaten anything but not feeling hungry at all. The moonlight shines down on him through the window, illuminating his face and his black eyes.

Tomorrow she will be someone else’s bride…

She really… will leave him all by himself…

Tomorrow…

Does he still even have a tomorrow…